Thoughts
As evidenced by the amount of overflow parking that plagues the gym lot adjacent my apartment each evening, it seems that as a society we've adopted the general consensus that our schedules should all regularly persist beyond sunset. Once it's dark out, we must continue: continue to work, to fit in more activities, aided by the illuminating gift of post-industrial artificial light. There is no requirement to slow down the rhythym of your day once its light has crested the horizon.
In the grand tale of human history, this is a fairly novel concept, that is, becoming like hamsters in our nocturnal preferences. Prior to the widespread adoption of Edison's efficient lightbulb, we humans would sleep, on average, about 10 hours per night. Now, this won't devolve into a Matthew Walker TED talk, I assure you. (Though if you know me well, you know just how passionate I am about sleep hygeine).
Last time I wrote, we discussed the inevitability of trials in life: how they come like waves and don't seem to stop. I suggested that we stop aiming for the "plateaus" that loom on the other side of each hurdle or challenge. Constantly longing for those periods of stasis that are to come after a trial can remove us from being present with the task at hand. It can leave us with an impetus to simply go through the motions to complete what's in front of us so we can get to what's next. This approach can shortchange our engagement and resulting development that comes from being present in moments of challenge and trial.
The last essay cries out for a complement, and the necessity of today's piece is this: while we must acknowledge the inevitability of life to hand seasons of difficulty to us on a regular basis, pivoting our perspective to a constant navigation of the waves rather than one of placid waters, I cannot fail to mention the importance of incorporating--and protecting--rest in our lives.
When the word Rest is used, what first comes to mind for many of us is how chronically underslept we are. This comes as no surprise. With studies showing the average American has been sleeping somewhere between 5.7-6.8 hours per night over the last decade--the entire range falling below the recommended 7-9 hours per night for optimal human functioning. So our mind first jumps to those sweet Z's that we long for, the extra hour in the morning to sleep in, or even the elusive early bedtime that affords us an extra hour of pre-midnight slumber. Sufficient sleep is undoubtedly a key facet of the concept of rest, but I would argue that it is not the only one.
The concept extends far beyond a simple dimension of unconscious hours spent regenerating. Our lives, when awake, have never been more busy than they are now. Like I said, it appears most people can no longer even fit in their daily exercise regimen while the sun is still out, so they have begun to run on the hamster wheel (proverbially speaking, of course) at night. Or perhaps it's a work expands to the time allotted phenomenon, where now that we have the access to ample light and acitivity well into the night hours, we simply let our schedules ooze into those hours and fret not the time poorly spent throughout the day.
Active rest requires intentional subtraction in our lives, to echo another recent theme of discussion. With so much of our attention encumbered, we end up distracting-away our free time rather than investing it into deliberate rest. When we find ourselves with free time, how do we fill it? Whether we like it or not, for most of us the answer is a quick trip to our phones for our media du jour to pass the time until we're late getting ready for our next planned activity.
As part of therapy for the screen-addicted, (I'm talking the kids who spend over ten hours per day playing videogames, not you and me who average our tidy 3-4 hours of screen time per day, though one could say there's but a hairs-width difference between us), they have patients "stare at a wall for sixty minutes per day." That's right. Sit in a chair, do nothing, and stare at a blank wall. Watch paint dry. What happens? More often than not, the subject ends up in tears at one point or another during this exercise. Others experience extreme feelings of catharsis. And what exactly is going on here? Simply speaking, they're retraining their brains' tolerance for boredom. It's okay to be bored, they're learning. But more than likely, they're also confronting things from the recesses of their mind that are otherwise repressed by distraction for the majority of their waking hours.
Now, I'm not suggesting that we all have some demons to wrestle with within our subconscious that we're deliberately avoiding as we move through life, (though that is precisely the case for some of us). The notion of "being comfortable with yourself while alone," is one that is increasingly common as far as a goal people want to attain when working through any psychological issues. The company of a phone, maybe combined with a netflix show, combined then with a mind-altering substance (or two) becomes the "new normal" way to pass hours that are absent responsibility. Off of work at 8pm with a midnight bedtime? Why not drink a little, smoke a little, eat some pizza and watch reruns of that show while scrolling twitter until you pass out? Why face the deep, dark, boring alone? It's because it's in these very places, in this exploration, in this passage of time, where we find rest. The rest that is different from simple sleep. The one that restores our attention, our focus, our "tolerance for boredom." The one that helps clarify the way we think through issues, the one that helps process emotions lurking in our subconscious, slowly eating away at our thought patterns and behaviors, waiting for us to pull them into the light of conscious thought and examine them, deconstruct them, grow and move beyond their hold on our minds.
These moments and spaces in time, these are where we can fight to pursue, and to defend, rest. Rest for the deepest parts of our being. The parts that are just as important as the muscles that we are exercising in the gym for their health, appearance and function. These deep parts require maintenance, exercise, and intentional pursuit as well.
Hear me, I maintain that we should recognize--embrace even--the reality of life being a sequence of challenges and waves that, like the years as Smashmouth famously sang, "start coming and they don't stop coming." This posturing allows us to engage with the development and maturation that these phases and seasons bring. But amid the storms, we must also seek out rest. The pursuit of respite for our weary souls must be characterized by a similar vigor, so that they may be able to continue taking the waves of life and continue surmounting them. There are times where this rest may come in the very short-lived plateaus that lay ahead of the challenges, but we must find it too in the midst of the fight. Seek a life that protects space where we intentionally set aside distraction, where we subtract to make room for real rest, a full rest, that's deeper than simply physical or mental, and that ends up becoming greater than the sum of those two parts. Then we can continue on our journey through life, ready to face the trials, while routinely finding solace in the quiet places.
Until next time,
Things
⛰️ Sisyphus and the Impossible Dream - This short video from creator Casey Neistat covers a 17 year journey of running 25 marathons, starting with a diagnosis of being told he’d likely never run again. Nothing captures the human spirit quite like the will to continue improving towards a goal.
🌅 Mike Posner’s 36th Birthday Reflection Thread - Available on Twitter here or instagram here, artist Mike Posner reflects on the 10 years that have lapsed since he first wrote the hit song, “I took a pill in Ibiza.” His life has been quite the journey ever since, and he shares some wisdom that he’s gleaned along the way.
🎥 Avatar: The Last Airbender - A new series on Netflix, redeeming the 2010 M. Night Shyamalan catastrophe first attempting to convert the popular animated show into live action. When the news first broke about this series entering production, original creators Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko were both on board as Executive Producers. Unfortunately along the way, they would part ways as they didn’t perceive Netflix to be maintaining the story and vision integrity they had intended. Nonetheless, I’d give this series a 7/10. I have plenty of gripes, but enjoyed a new envisioning of the world that I routinely inhabited on Saturday mornings when I was young.
Thank you for reading, I sincerely appreciate it. I would love to hear from you, whether it be your thoughts on anything above, or any recommendations on food, wine, books, etc. that could find their way into a future issue. Or simply drop me a note to say hello! Reach me at writejohnduffy@protonmail.com - I look forward to hearing from you.
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I appreciate the encouragement to rest. I come from a family who followed culture's obsession with productivity. In fact, my father has a funny saying, "Don't worry, just hurry." He's one of the many who can't sit still. I sometimes find myself sitting - maybe in a waiting room or waiting for paint to dry - and feel the need to do something. Sometimes that means distracting myself with entertainment or feeling guilty that I'm not doing something more productive like chores or reading. But your essay gives me permission to value rest and be okay with being still - in fact, to believe that it is good for me. Speaking of the gym, it makes me think of how muscles need a break after a workout in order to recover and repair. It is in the rest that they grow stronger for the next task.